How to grieve

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I have been grieving Samantha. I wonder if I cry enough. Feel enough. Talk about her enough. This has been at the forefront of my mind as I have experienced the way someone else is grieving the loss of their child. I don't know this person personally, just through face-book. It has only been a couple of months since the loss of her child but she posts about it every day. Often multiple times a day. She posts everything. All her negative thoughts and feelings and anger. And, I don't know why I care, because everyone is different.

It's been over a year, so it's supposed to be better, easier. That's at least the feeling I get from everyone around me. Gone are the days of breaking down in the middle of a store. Gone are the days when I shouldn't struggle to get out of bed. Gone are the days when I can use mourning as an excuse to not see people or do anything. At least, this is what I think the world thinks. For me, I guess I was too good at faking it because I would MUCH rather lay in bed every day and cry. I would MUCH rather stay looked up in the house not going to family functions or visit friends, and I would LOVE to say all the negative thoughts rolling through my head.

But no. That's not me. I am not in the market of spewing my heartache on others. They don't need me to bring them down. Life is hard enough without having to live with heartache. I guess I have to continue to be"strong" and keep my misery to myself.